On Sports

Besides having just broken a toe playing beach volley a couple of days ago, I'm not exactly the sportiest of people. Just recently there was a news article about how Ostrobothnians are the fattest people in Finland and I'm certainly not making that statistic any prettier. But hey, I try - in fact, I'm just picking up a new sport.

I'm sure it will get me in shape in no time.

I've always had a bit of a problem with sports. If you read my previous post (and if you didn't, why the hell not?) you already know I didn't particularly enjoy the subject when I was in school. Back then, the common practice when forming teams was that the teacher chose two of the most skilled kids as team captains, who then took turns picking members for their team. Being dead last to get selected every time didn't exactly help me fall in love with the game.

But that was in the 80s. Surely things have gotten better over the decades?

Recent studies show that most students in the lower secondary school see sports as a welcome change to the academic subjects, understand the importance of exercise and have positive attitudes towards it. However, a 2024 survey also reveals that only 32% of children, adolescents and young adults meet the national recommendations for physical activity. There is a glaring discrepancy, but why?

When asked about the things that students don't enjoy about physical education, competitive sports and fitness testing are among the top ones. For obvious reasons, students who are already good at sports don't seem to mind them, but the rest - the exact kind of kids our school system should be encouraging to pick up sports, because the others have already done so regardless - find them distressing. Other reasons include body shame, especially during activities like swimming and showering (who would have thought teenagers - especially girls - might not like that?) and the way teams get picked.

(Seriously - they still pick the teams the same way? What the hell is wrong with people?)

It seems like making physical education a humiliating experience for kids at their most sensitive age isn't yielding positive results. Who would have thought? And yet it looks like little has changed: Over the years, I've personally brought up these issues with some sports teachers. They are very often former coaches, which is an entirely different goddamn job, but not many of them seem to get it. The first time I personally enjoyed physical education was in business school, and I don't think it's a coincidence that it was also the first time my sports teacher wasn't a former coach. Under her tuition, our class got to choose the sports we would like to try and we didn't have fitness testing at all - anyone who didn't skip her classes on purpose passed the course.

Another thing that irks me to the bone is that whenever Finland's team isn't successful in the Olympics, we get the same public cry from our sports influencers that in order to produce more top athletes, our kids should be directed towards rigorous sports training at younger ages.

To this I say that we shouldn't give a shit about producing top athletes. Not if it means ruining their childhood, which is exactly what that would do. It's the only time in their lives when they're not too buried in responsibilities to enjoy this existence, so please let them have it. Certainly, there's nothing wrong in supporting your child in something they enjoy doing and if that's sports, wonderful. But as a nation, we should in no way try to force top athletes into being.

What exactly is the value of hoarding medals in the Olympics anyway?

Besides, there is nothing inherently good about top sports at all. It's bullshit. For every top athlete there are hundreds of others who try and fail, either because they just don't have the genetics or hurt themselves too badly along the way to continue. And for those who actually make it, many still lose their careers for injuries or succumb under the pressure to use doping, which makes for some very sad stories.

All of this may make you think that I'm just a fat lazy bastard who has a grudge against sports. But that's not accurate, I don't bear any such grudge. In fact, I even watch sports sometimes.

I especially enjoy watching slow motion replays of divers.
That's some hilarious shit.

All I'm saying that if we are to encourage our kids in picking up sports, then we should focus on making it fun for them. That's how it sticks. Besides, isn't sports supposed to be all about fun anyway? It's not like kicking a ball around is somehow a productive activity.